Friday, January 05, 2007

Shock new use for Marine Park?

Royal Navy to dock in South Marine Park.

In a shock development it has been revealed that council workers have secretly drained the lake in the South Marine Park, South Shields (see picture) in readiness for it's future use as a Royal Naval Dockyard.

A Ministry of Defence spokesman has confirmed the story leaked to today's Daily Telegraph, and expressed his thanks to South Tyneside Council for making the offer of a new naval dock, saying this magnificent gesture will see the Royal Navy through the next few decades, and that this new facility on the Tyne will be more than adequate for our requirements.

A senior officer, currently serving with the Fleet in Portsmouth, said:

"What this means is that we are now no better than a coastal defence force or a fleet of dug-out canoes. The Dutch now have a better navy than us."

Defence sources said it would be unlikely that the Navy could now launch an armada of the kind that retook the Falkland Islands in 1982.

Steve Bush, editor of the monthly magazine Warship World, said the MoD was bankrupt following the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"After 10 years of Labour government, the Royal Navy is on its knees without immediate and proper funding. I cannot see how it can recover - especially if Mr Brown becomes the next prime minister."

Curly thinks that everyone is making a drama out of a crisis and that we should be o.k. so long as we are not attacked by any more than twenty pedaloes at a time!

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