Friday, February 10, 2006
Mary Agnes Rigg
Mary Agnes Rigg (13.09.32 to 07.02.06)
Mary was born into a poor family before Europe became embroiled in the politics and turmoil of World War ll, her father died when she was little more than a child leaving her mother to bring her up with an elder sister and three older brothers. She spent the vast majority of her life close to the riverside in South Shields and during the course of the Second War lived in sixteeen different properties.
She did not enjoy the happiest of childhoods, her mother remarried twice and Mary suffered abuse at the hands of both step-fathers, for many years she lived with her sister Gladys and her husband Samuel, she also lost two of her brothers during the War. The War years were particularly harsh for those living in the terraced streets between Dean Road and Commercial Road with the main Newcastle to South Shields railway line and the shipyards being favoured targets for German bombing raids, many people were often rehoused after the damage and destruction caused by errant ordinance from the Heinkels and Dorniers.
Food and clothing rationing meant that the family never had everything that it really needed, Mary ended up being treated for tuberculosis in the Deans Hospital and Cleadon Sanitorium, she also suffered a major concussion after being struck on the head by a falling lampost during a bombing raid. Her survival during the War was a signal that she would continue to fight and survive over every scrap, scrape, crisis, or illness during the course of her 73 years.
In 1949 she joined the Civil Defence Force which met in Anderson Street and it is there that she met a young man from Jarrow who was to change the course of her life. Having been "dunked" at the Baptist Tabernacle in Laygate, and immersed in the Temperance Society, it must have been something of a cultural shock to take part in activities that were being enjoyed by all of the other teenagers at the time (dancing at The Majestic, and drinking three Babychams on a date), Tom was responsible for introducing her to these things! They courted for two years before arranging to marry at St. Jude's Church, Alice Street in 1953.
The new Elizabethan era saw them honeymoon in Edinburgh before departing for the bright lights (or was it the thick foggy smog) of London, where they both found jobs and made lots of new friends. However, the strong ties to her roots forced Mary to persuade Tom to return to Tyneside after only nine months in the capital. On their return she took a job at Wrights biscuit factory in Boldon Lane, whilst he found employment as an industrial chemist for the National Coal Board at Monkton Cokeworks, they lived in H.S. Edwards Street in a flat vacated by her mother.
It would not be long before they moved to a flat at 230 John Williamson Street at it's junction with Bertram Street, where the couple would live for almost twenty years. Two children were born here, in this small three roomed flat (which did not benefit from hot running water, or central heating, or a bathroom, or toilet). Tom now worked for Pyrex in Sunderland whilst Mary could afford to stay at home to nurture her two young boys, now being educated at Barnes Road school.
In the early 1960's Tom realised that spending half of his life in the Unionist Club in Frederick Street, instead of at home with his young family, wasn't a good idea. He had been pestered by the Reverend Norman Moses (who had baptised the children at St. Judes) for donations on a weekly basis - it was always an embarassing situation when the vicar arrived to the sounds of "it's holy Moses" from a very well trained budgerigar. This pestering for money was to lead to Tom's "Damascus Road" conversion and his life changed irreversibly. The couple spent more and more time at St. Jude's Church, which was almost like a community centre at the time. The children were taken to mass on Sundays, followed by Sunday School, and then Evensong. During midweek Tom and Mary would attend other services as well as joining in clubs and societies which met in the church hall. The church would eventually play a major role in the life of the couple, Mary took a job there as Verger/Caretaker, a position she held for over fourty years, and recently relinquished, (Mary also worked part-time as a senior care worker in Mapledean House, Beach Road until she was 70 years old.) Tom would do theological studies at night until he was licensed as a Lay Reader, and became well known throughout the town conducting baptisms or funerals. The two sons joined the church Boys Club and the Scout troops at St. Mary's and St. Francis and forge friendships that would last a lifetime.
In 1973 the family moved to a new Council house (semi-detached) close to Derby Street baths, but maintained the close contact with St. Jude's church. The boys passed through their respective educations, got married and left home; but like most geordie lads there were two women in their lives, their wives and their mother! So never a week went by without visiting their parent's house at least two or three times.
The two boys had been raised in a loving environment with a lot of liberalism and latitude, they were allowed to grow and learn at their own pace, and much of this was due to the patience and fortitude of their mother Mary. She was never seen in an angry mood, she was hardly ever seen shedding tears, she was rarely pensive, and she was always the "life and soul of the party" Her house was a palace of laughter, rich in humour, and decorated with a thousand stories, it was lit by her personality and of those she gathered around her.
It was remarkably similar when the family went away on holiday, in the earlier days we all enjoyed camping (probably as a result of the Boys Club and the Boy Scouts), before we were able to afford holidays abroad. When we went abroad, a few times it was as a large group, ten or more, and as usual it was Mary's humour that is often remembered first, before the scenery, weather, or local customs.
The last holiday that Tom and Mary enjoyed abroad was in July 2005, a two week stay in Cyprus, they always had a soft spot for the Eastern Mediterranean, after their return Mary complained of back ache, so bad that it had caused her a few sleepless nights. Her GP prescribed painkillers but they proved ineffective. Eventually she was sent for an x-ray and further tests which revealed she was suffering with lung cancer and a secondary tumour was present near her spine, fifty years of smoking had taken it's toll perhaps. The news was devastating, and hit her like a hammer blow. For the first time in her life she actually felt ill. Four courses of radiotherapy and three courses of chemotherapy were endured with great bravery and fortitude, she never complained, and indeed, kept her normal cheerfull, happy outlook on life. She was always very positive about her treatment and hoped for a recovery. However, metastatis and neuropathy resulted in tumours spreading to the brain and spinal cord, she lost her mobility, and with it, some of her dignity, but she would not be defeated. With the aid of a multitude of appliances she carried on as normally as possible, with family and friends taking her out on shopping expeditions to ensure that all of the family, and especially her grandchildren were catered for at Christmas. This was typical of the woman, her own problems and difficulties were always put to the back of her mind, to her it was a duty to help others first. It had been this way as far as any of us could remember.
Mary spent four weeks in South Tyneside District Hospital in December, being treated for a chest infection, and returned home on December 23rd. in time to spend a quite magical Christmas Day with her family. She ate with the appetite of a front row forward and had great fun with the grandchildren. A final blast of radiotherapy enabled her to enjoy a brief period of improved mobility before the aggressive tumour in her back began to control her destiny. She returned to the hospital on Sunday 5th. February 2006 suffering from, what appeared to be, a deep vein thrombosis in the left leg. She was still lucid, alert, and very aware of everything that was happening around her, but she was tired, very tired. She never complained of being in any physical pain and her pain control measures were very small compared to other cancer patients (she was only using 30 mgms. of morphine each day), she had also maintained her weight during the whole of the last seven months. In all of this time, from the waist up, she looked quite healthy. The following day she was again tired having suffered a restless night, she spent a lot of time sleeping on Monday. She waved good-bye to her family on Monday evening looking in good spirits and slept well all night long. On Tuesday morning Mary awoke at 06.00 to take her anti-biotic medication then went back to sleep, she passed away peacefully at 06.50
She was a remarkable woman, small in stature, with the heart of a lion, she had the patience of Job, and a generosity in her life which was unequalled. Never a complainer, she had a "let's get on with it" attitude, her laughter was infectious. Until 2005 she had been blessed with good health and retired from working at the age of seventy only two years earlier, it seemed that walking about six miles a day had kept her in such good shape. I loved her with a passion, she was my mentor, support, and helper, my best friend for most of my life, my carer and provider, my nurse and my scolder, she was everything and more than she should have been. I'm proud to have called her my mother.
Mary's funeral will take place at St. Jude's Church, Alice Street, Laygate, South Shields at 10.45 on Tuesday 14th. February, all those who knew her, or were touched by her are cordially invited, the cremation at South Shields will follow at 11.30.
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