Thursday, January 05, 2006

Charles Kennedy


Tots and Toddlers for Lib-Dems.

In a tense emergency press statement today, Charles Kennedy, the leader, torch bearer, and toast master of the 200 year old Liberal traditionalists, has finally admitted that he has been struggling with alcoholism for some time; akin to viewing British politics through the bottom of a tot of whisky.
After months of sniping, back stabbing, and covert anti-Kennedy briefings to the press, those who had previously been scheming to remove the man who provided so many Lib-Dem seats, have now withdrawn to the shadows and declared no interest in taking part in the leadership election which was announced by Kennedy today.

Mr. Kennedy's style of leadership has been criticised as being laissez faire and too laid back, lacking in direction and substance, and indecisive since the emergence of David Cameron as the leader of the Tory party. Wait a minute - is that not the essence of the Lib Dems that we have been accustomed to for many years?

For those with severe leanings towards the Liberal cause, do not despair, a new generation is bracing itself to succeed where the current leadership is failing to resolve the hangover of the last party conference. 12 year old Oliver Smith (yes that's right 12 years old) was elected President of Amber Valley Lib Dems in November last year, and has just been installed in the post on New Year's Day. He succeeds a man in his fifties, more than four times Oliver's age!

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These two stories beg an awful lot when asking us to believe in the maturity of the Lib Dems. On the one hand they have asked their membership and Members of Parliament to accept and follow the leadership of a self confessed alcoholic, whilst on the other they elect a mere toddler to an important local position which carries, sometimes, onerous responsibilities, and a final casting vote on important issues (such as deciding who to vote for in the leadership election.) Heavens above, he may be the nicest most sincere young lad in Derbyshire, but what experience of life and alcohol does he have yet?

Do you really want this party to have any position of responsibility?
(If Charles doesn't find any floods of support for him amongst the party membership, he could always volunteer to help out with the regular floods at Kennedy's Bar in South Shields! )

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